


I Have No Diamonds To Share

by Lapin



Series: The Fall [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Aside, Ficlet, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-09
Updated: 2015-08-03
Packaged: 2018-02-03 23:19:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1759467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lapin/pseuds/Lapin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What's a criminal to do, when the name of an honourable Dwarf writes itself across their soul? No one ever said the marks had to mean love, after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Blue_Sparkle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Sparkle/gifts).



> Teeny tiny aside based on [this pic](http://asparklethatisblue.tumblr.com/image/88205845338), by [A Sparkle That Is Blue](http://asparklethatisblue.tumblr.com/), who is, quite frankly, a wonderful artist. You should follow them right away.

He shouldn't have come.

Behind him, over him, Dwalin kisses another freckle on his back. Nori digs his fingers into the bed linens, wanting another life, a different name. "You're beautiful,” Dwalin rumbles over him, kissing another. “I always thought you were. Even when I had to arrest you, I saw you.” 

Nori's hair is all down, for the most part. Dwalin seems to like that. He keeps nosing at it, inhaling. He's so _big_ , over and around Nori, sheltering him in the still-lit room. 

What is wrong with him? He's managed all these years, kept himself to himself, kept the name on his wrist covered. He's been strong, been sure of his decision. 

One mistake, his own. He knows Ori's too young to drink spirits, but he thought it would be fun. He should have known Dwalin would be on duty. He's been taking shifts in Tintown as of late, helping keep things in line. He's such a good Dwarf. Too good for Nori. Far too good. Even now, he should have stuck to his promise. He shouldn't have given in. 

Dwalin buries his face in Nori's hair now, kisses the nape of his neck. “I never would have put you in that cell, if I knew. I swear. I would have kept you safe.”

And there's the rub. Dwalin would have protected Nori, and damned himself in the process. Nori will ruin him, and Dwalin, Dwalin is a good Dwarf. He really is. Nori's watched him over the years, hungry for anything he could know about him, about Dwalin, son of Fundin. Dwalin's been a good, kind guard. He's never hurt Nori or any others imprisoned. He's never been disrespectful of Nori's family. Told him to take care of his mother, more often than not, in the kind way of a loving son. 

Nori will ruin him, drag him across the thin shale until Dwalin has nothing. It will be Nori's fault. 

He's not ashamed of what he's done. He's provided for his family, his brothers and sisters and his mother, before she died. He's made things easier for them. He's been good to them. But he's not proud of it either. How can he be proud when what he does ends with him in a cell, and now a law mark on his arm? When his siblings have to come get him from the Tower, even little Ori? 

“You're so perfect.” Dwalin's breath is hot on Nori's back, as he kisses one more freckle, his fingers just under Nori's ribcage. “Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you trust me?” Another kiss. His beard tickles, just a bit, like Nori always knew it would when he imagined this. “I never would have turned you away.”

Nori's always known that, no matter what he said. He knew Dwalin would want him. 

That's the problem. 

This was supposed to be a conversation. That's what this was. Nori had every intention of talking Dwalin around when he slipped in through the window. Convincing him how wrong they were for one another now, no matter what Mahal meant, that they couldn't work, that Nori was bad for Dwalin. He'd ruin Dwalin's career with his crimes, his law mark. The other nobles would mock him behind his back. Or worse, to his face. His own guards wouldn't listen to him. 

“Don't stop,” Nori says into the pillow. 

It feels so good to be touched by Dwalin. So many decades he's spent watching Dwalin, knowing him. Eager for every time Dwalin clapped him on the shoulder, told him to be good to his family and stay out of trouble. Smiled down at Nori. Been good, been kind, been perfect. Nori has wanted him so much, the confession right there behind his teeth, the key around his neck. 

_Dwalin, son of Fundin_. Right there in his skin. 

“Never,” Dwalin promises, his kisses harder against Nori's skin. “I'll never deny you a thing.” 

This is a mistake. Nori knows it. He's always been good at staying out of trouble, away from the guards, away from Dwalin. He gives in once, and now he can't stop. He can't say no when Dwalin pushes back inside of him, when Dwalin kisses the back of his neck, his teeth in the knob of Nori's spine. Dwalin is heavy and warm and it tears into Nori's chest, it hurts to do it, it hurts to give in to what he knows is wrong, and he does it anyway. 

“I'll take care of you.” Dwalin is huffing against the back of Nori's neck. “I'll take care of your family, I'll marry you. You'll be safe. I swear it.” 

Nori will ruin him. 

Dwalin reaches down to where Nori is hard, so Nori grabs his hand, intertwines their fingers. It's one thing to fuck a criminal. All the guards in Tintown fuck a criminal every now and then. It's another to want to be with them, to want to _marry_ them. To have their name on their wrist. Dwalin is a guard, Captain of the Guard, a renowned soldier. Second son of Fundin, younger brother to Lord Balin. Trusted sword of their king. 

He deserves better than a poacher with a law mark in his arm from Tintown. 

This was supposed to be talking. 

“You're so beautiful,” Dwalin exhales. “You're so damn beautiful.” 

He only meant to talk to him. Dwalin wasn't supposed to take Nori by the hands, press kisses against _Dwalin, son of Fundin_ and the plain wrist. He wasn't supposed to say Nori was beautiful. 

Nori's loved him so long.

When Dwalin falls asleep, Nori puts his clothes back on. 

He loves him so much. Enough to leave.


	2. Chapter 2

_Family,_

_We've docked at last, down here in the town listed. I'm not writing it out again, but if you want to write to me, or just make Ori do it, you can send them here. The Captain says this will be our main port for a time, so even if I don't answer right away, I'll get it eventually. I'll tell you when we move further south._

_Mori, you'll be pleased to know I was sick for a week straight. Yes, you were right. Enjoy it. We all know how rare it is. If I wasn't being sick, my head was aching, and I managed an impressive sunburn. Everyone tells me I'll harden up quick enough._

_The cook tells me Lori was sick for a fortnight. Don't remember her mentioning that._

_I've sent money notes, you'll see. It's not much, not yet. I had to buy myself some proper clothes, and a few other necessities, but now that I have, I shouldn't need to replace them for a time._

_The knives you sent me off with have done good work, Sori, and you might have yourself a little extra business soon. They've been admired, and I've told some where they can get a set of their own. No one dangerous, Dori and Adjoa, before either of you start getting your braids knotted. A few are more interesting than others, but none who would harm our family. Some are even old mates of Lori's, so maybe they'll have a tale or two to tell to keep you all entertained._

_It's hard, but I like this line of work, and I'm not half bad at it. The water is nice, once you catch your balance, and some of my mates have been teaching me how to swim. It feels good in the heat, but I'm not too pleased with what it does to my hair. Took me over an hour to get the knots out the first time. Never missed you more, Dori. Hurts a lot more when you have to do it yourself._

_I've never been away from the house so long, you know. I never thought I'd miss you all as much as I do. Not you Mori, I don't miss you._

_I'll write more after I hear from you, and have something to talk about beyond my work. I doubt any of it would be very interesting to any of you._

_My love,  
Nori_

There's not much else to say that doesn't imply more than Nori wants to. The less his brothers and sisters know, the better. His stomach growls at the thought of home and the warm kitchen and Dori and Adjoa's cooking. Even one of Samin's pies would do, but really, with the summer heat, he wanted a drink of the chilled mint tea Adjoa would make, or the cold blueberry soup that was likely being ladled out in the restaurant. 

The inn his captain had led them to served Dwarrows without any trouble one way or the other, and the beds were as clean as inn beds in a port town were likely to get, but the food was heavy and salted so heavily Nori had hardly managed half of his supper before switching to ale. Even the bread had been barely tolerable, the inn full of the sickly tasting sourdough Men seem to favour. 

Nori's not hungry enough to eat it just yet. He doesn't have many options though, and an empty belly never made anyone work harder. 

He seals the letter and writes the direction it needs to travel. He's made the money notes out to Dori, and it's really not much at all. He'd of made more with one good stag. That's neither here nor there though, so he packs his pipe and lights it, hoping a smoke would clear his thoughts. The Dwarf he's bunking with hasn't shown just yet, so he'll have a little peace for now. 

Downstairs, someone is playing the fiddle, and soon enough, others accompany, including a viol. Nori sighs to himself and opens the window, so the sound of the docks drowns it all out. He'll never tell a soul, not even one of his brothers or sisters, but sometimes when he said he was going out, he was really venturing up out of the neighbourhood, and to wherever Dwalin had mentioned he would be to his guards. Nori would slip in, stay in a corner, while Dwalin played with a few friends. 

Stupid thing to be doing, suspicious if Dwalin had ever caught him at it. He never had though, and Nori had always managed to convince himself that _this_ time would be the last, but then he'd overhear again, and again, he'd tell his family he was going out. Again, he'd lurk in a corner and listen to Dwalin play, admire the way his fingers delicately worked the strings, the way he concentrated on the notes. 

There had been far too many times Nori had lingered after Dwalin had finished, had palmed the key around his neck and been so close to telling the truth. But always, his fear of Dwalin's reaction had stopped him just in time. He wouldn't be pleased to know Mahal had tied him to Nori, of all people, and he'd be upset about the lie. Or worse, he'd prefer Nori had kept it. 

Nori runs a hand through his loose hair, the smell of salt sticking to it even after a thorough washing with water from the pump around the side. Idly, he bites down on his pipe and pulls all of his thick hair over his shoulder, attempting to at least start a braid. It proves too difficult to do while smoking, so he gives up for the time being. 

He never thought he would miss them all so much. It had been something of a relief the first few days, but it hadn't taken long for the homesickness to settle in. His shipmates told him it would pass soon enough, but now, with his hair loose and no one to help, he wants to cry again. He'd give anything to be at home in front of the hearth while Mori braided his hair and fussed over the tangles it inevitably wound up in.

It's his own fault he's out here though, so no use feeling sorry for himself. Why had he gone to Dwalin that night? What had he really thought was going to happen? He should have stayed home and allowed Dori and Adjoa to handle matters with Dwalin instead of stupidly believing he could do it himself. He always thinks he can do it himself, and then he almost always ends up in trouble. 

The sound of the gulls over the water is starting to irritate him. He's never liked birds much, the jerky, sudden way they move and their black eyes. Doesn't like something having the drop on him either. Once, when he was still learning how to shoot, he'd clipped a large black raven with an arrow. The bird had cawed loudly and seemingly disappeared into the trees, but then a moment later, it had swooped down on him, clawing and beating at him until it was satisfied. It had put a scratch over Nori's eye that everyone had worried about for a week, until it healed and they were sure Nori hadn't been blinded. 

After that, he had been leery of the creatures. More than once, an owl had stolen a squirrel or a rabbit right out from under him, and the larger birds, hawks and eagles, tended to come too close for his taste. He wasn't stupid enough to loose an arrow at one, of course. Lori had warned him that was a good way to get himself killed, that the birds were a lot larger up close, and their talons could rip him to pieces. 

The gulls are little more than scavenger rats, seemingly, but Nori would still rather they keep to themselves. He doesn't have a bow to defend himself with any more, his now locked up with their mother's own weapons in the trunk under the stairs, along with most of his other hunting tools. 

He finishes his pipe, watching the dock workers, and then starts braiding his hair properly for the night. Down on the street, someone whistles, and when he looks down, two Dwarves are admiring him openly. 

“How much?” one asks.

Nori considers it for a moment, the idea of a little extra to send home tempting. But he'd have to find something for his bunkmate to do, or somewhere else to sleep, and that would cut in a bit. And he'd need another wash. All in all, not worth it. “Not for sale,” he calls down, and they grin good-naturedly. 

“Maybe next time?” the other asks hopefully, following after his friend, likely to find someone who was actually selling. 

Despite everything else he's done, he's never sold sex. Had offers, despite not being a licensed seller, but the idea of being arrested for yet one more thing and Dwalin finding out had kept him out of it. The fine for working without a license and a house was more than it was worth any way. 

His hair braided and his pipe smoked, there's not many more excuses for why the second letter on the little writing desk is still blank. He considers lighting another, or just going downstairs and having some fun, but he's put it off long enough. For all he knows, Dwalin has turned his family's house upside down, or worse, made trouble at their work. It has to be settled. 

The page is blank, so he fixes that, writing _Dwalin_ at the top, careful of his handwriting. He never had the best hand for it, even when he was still in school. 

_I'm sorry._

He should explain better. He should say something about what happened. 

_I never should have let you find out. That was stupid._ Nori scratches that out. He's not blaming Ori for his own mistakes, and that could be twisted that way if Dwalin's feeling uncharitable. _I never should have come to you that night. That was selfish._ Yes, that's better. _Please don't hold a grudge against my family. They wanted me to tell you and have it done with. They were only keeping me safe. It's what they've always done._

He reads it over, trying to find any mistakes in the spelling. He was never any great shakes at school in general. None of them had been, really, except Ori, and since Cines is no great mind, Nori wonders if he and the rest of them were just too lazy. It's not inconceivable. 

What he should write next is that he doesn't love Dwalin, never will, and Dwalin would be a fool to stay focused on him. If Nori really had any spine, that's what he would write, and sever things between them entirely. Dwalin's pride wouldn't let him keep his delusions about their bond if Nori was so cold. 

Nori's never been able to keep his own selfishness in check though, so he cannot do it. What if Dwalin marries someone else? He could. He could easily fall in love and marry another, one who wasn't Nori, and he would never think about Nori again. That's what should happen, ideally. Someone else's ideal. Everyone else's ideal, especially Dwalin's noble older brother, if Nori had to guess. Who wants a criminal married in? Adjoa hadn't exactly been clean when she married in, so she'd never minded Nori's ways unless she thought Nori might get hurt. Samin had taken more of a fall, when she chose to marry Mori against her family's wishes, but still not much of one.

Dwalin's fall would break every bone in his body. 

Nori downs the rest of his wine, and the muddiness of his thoughts tells him he indulged too much. It's what he's needed to finish this letter though, and for once in his life, untwist his tongue and tell the truth. Dwalin deserves the truth at least once, and he would prefer it over a lie. 

_Nothing in this is your fault._

He shouldn't. He shouldn't write what he writes next, but he bites his lip and allows the courage of drink to encourage him when he scrawls, _I love you_. The wine has him seal the letter before he thinks better, and the wine gives him the power to walk downstairs and hand both letters to the innkeeper. He'll regret it for months to come, for years even, but for once, Nori tells the truth.

That night, he lies in bed, drunk and morose, his bunkmate quietly snoring, and listens to the water on the rocks. _Everything is going to be all right,_ he tells himself, the same thing he always tells Ori when Ori looks as though he's about to cry. Nori doesn't count it as a lie. Along with school, he never had a talent for soothsaying. So for all he knows, it's the truth. 

Before he had left, Adjoa had read the stones for him, but her answer had been the same as it had always been. _“Your road always twists and turns too much for anyone to see too far ahead, little brother.”_ But this time, because he was leaving, he had asked his law-sister what the Maker and his apprentices intended for their family. 

Adjoa had heated and cast the stones again. _“Things are going to get better,”_ she'd said, her brow furrowed. _“I see your name. Yours...and Dori...and little Ori's.”_

He wonders about his brothers now. Proud Dori who never called himself anything but a son of Glori, instead of his good-for-nothing sire, protective Dori who took on Lori's role as oldest without complaint. Little Ori, lost in his words and his pictures, the very picture of an innocent. The pair of them belong in the stones. What is Nori, compared to his siblings? Strong Mori, unyielding and as proud as Dori, if not more, and even more protective over the lot of them. Clever Sori, who listened and thought before she spoke, and then delivered sharp words and sharp blades to follow. 

Lori. 

Adjoa and Samin, not his blood, but his sisters, all the same. Adjoa, the one who could see where they could not. Samin, wily, but secretive about it until it was needed, strong. Always strong. 

And Nori is a poacher, a thief. A smuggler. A liar. Nori does what he must, but Mahal gave Nori no other gifts. 

So why be so cruel to Dwalin, a good Dwarf, to his mother, already tired, to his family, pushed to the point of breaking? What do the stones mean, to say Nori's name is written in the family's hopes? 

Nori turns over in the bed, kicking off the blanket. It's too hot for one already, and the drink isn't helping. Forcefully, he closes his eyes and orders himself to sleep. His captain isn't going to be too interested in his family's destiny or what the stones have to say when he's stupid and slow on the ship in the morning. 

The ship has already left the dock the next morning by the time Nori remembers the letter to Dwalin, too late to take it back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fíli and Ori were all happy on the other side. I had to remind myself that other people are miserable right now. 
> 
> Adjoa's fortunetelling is casting stones similar to rune stones. She heats them in the fire and casts them on the hearth. Nori is tricky to read.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written to Lana Del Ray's [Born To Die](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bag1gUxuU0g). 
> 
> Which is...somewhat frightening.

Nori's hardly a stone's throw from the ship when he's grabbed. There's little point in struggling; no sooner has he turned than he goes still, and the hand lets him go. Neither of them say anything for a moment, Nori too sun-tired and sore to bother. Why Dwalin is silent, Nori could make a few guesses, few of them kind. 

“Everything all right there, Nori?” one of his mates calls from the dock. 

“Fine,” he calls back, shouldering his belongings. “What are you doing here, Captain?” 

Dwalin looks down at him, the hood drawn up over his head making him hard to read. “You tell me you love me, and you think I won't track you down?” Nori should have seen that one. He's never drinking again, he swears. It only ever seems to lead to trouble for him lately. “What do you think you're doing, working on the river? You already lost one to the river, will break your mother's heart if she loses another.” 

Nori starts walking, Dwalin following, because of course he is. “How'd you find out about Lori?” The real Lori that is, Nori's oldest sister. 

“Asked around in the right places.” That has Nori stilling, turning on his heel to glare up at Dwalin. 

“Don't you be talking about my family in those sorts of places, you hear me?” Because the last thing his family needs is more trouble. Nori's friends at home can only keep things so safe for the lot of them when Nori's not there. “Don't be causing them trouble, Captain. We've got more than our fair share most of the time.” Doesn't help that half the time, Nori feels like the cause of it. “And it wouldn't be breaking my mother's heart. She died, a few years back.” No reason for the Captain of the Guard to know that. No reason for Dwalin to know anything about Nori. 

He frowns. “How many years?” 

“Eight.” Eight long years without her, and Nori hasn't found it any easier to talk about her. Even little Ori has managed losing her better than Nori. “Unless you're here to arrest me, you should head back home. The guards will be missing you.” And Nori has his own affairs to tend to. He needs to exchange his latest share for bank notes to send home, and write enough Dori and Adjoa stop fussing so much. Their last letter had been long, and full of questions. Plus, Nori managed to get some of the cloth from their latest job for himself, the piece ruined for the customer by a stain. Mori can hopefully dye it again, and they'll have a good bolt of fabric to make some new clothes. 

And he doesn't want to talk about his mother with Dwalin, or anything else, so he turns away and keeps walking. 

Dwalin keeps pace easily. “You think I'm going to arrest you? After everything?” 

Everything. Right, that. Nori's stupid visit, because Nori never can seem to do anything right by anyone. “It was a mistake, Dwalin, as you well know. It's why I left, why you need to just let me be.” 

“Bonding with your mark is never a mistake, Nori,” Dwalin protests, annoying Nori as he keeps following him, all the way to the boarding house the crew that goes ashore stays in now. The lady of the place smiles up at Nori when she sees him, some of his mates already sitting at a table with supper. Dwalin has at least thought to keep his hood up, because among the thousand and one last things Nori needs is someone recognizing Dwalin and wondering why he's with Nori. He doesn't fancy waking up to a knife in his belly, and he can't even bear to consider what could happen to his family. 

Nori's been careful, kept his wrist covered with vambraces and gloves. No one on the crew asks. Most of them keep theirs covered to. They might all get on, but at least half are using assumed names, and no one wants anyone they don't trust to know where a soft spot might be. 

The landlady calls him over to say hello, and he obligingly kisses the lady on the cheek when she bends for it, declining supper for now. “You always look half-starved,” she tuts, patting him on the head as she swishes away. “Come down when you and your friend get hungry.”

“Hey there,” one of the crew says happily, trying to lure Nori down into his lap, as always. He's a flirt that loves Nori's looks, and even if he's a bit too thick to get Nori's jokes, he always laughs at them. “Come keep me company, gorgeous.” Nori never has before, but it's been tempting to let someone admire him. He's always liked being admired. 

But he doesn't have to look back at Dwalin to know how he's glaring. Nori can just make out the edges of Dwalin's fury: jealousy and possessiveness, hurt and anger. By the Maker, he wishes he couldn't, that he had stayed true to his promises and left their bond untethered, but he hadn't. And he can. 

“Go on then, find yourself someone prettier.” If anything else, his captain will not be pleased if there's a fight in their boarding house over him. “You'd think you'd give up, eventually,” he teases, freeing himself. 

“Find someone lovelier than you, Fairest? Not possible,” he declares, and the table laughs. 

The lady of the house gets her coin from him, and tells him the blue room is empty for him, if he likes. “It's the smallest, but it's just the one bed,” she says, eyeing Dwalin. “Maybe you want some privacy, oh Fairest.” She mocks the endearment with a wink. 

Nori should tell her a regular room is fine.

He doesn't.

Dwalin, damn him, still follows, all the way up both staircases and into the said 'blue room', called that for the wallpaper with the pattern of blue flowers. Nori throws his bag on the bed, and hangs his coat on the hook, Dwalin doing the same. It really is a small room, just the single bed, the window, and the little writing desk shoved against the wall, even with furniture made for a Dwarf, not a Man. 

There's not a lot to say as Nori empties his bag, pulling out his comb so he can start to undo his travelling braids. He hates leaving the salt in his hair, and it'll give him something to do with his hands instead of reaching for Dwalin. He can still feel Dwalin's turbulent fury, and it nags at him that Dwalin would think he'd been sleeping with that Dwarf. “He's just a flirt, Dwalin. I've never even kissed him.”

The tension coming from Dwalin unravels and straightens out, until Nori cannot feel anything at all. 

“You've darkened up,” Dwalin says, sitting on the bed. Even out here in the sun, he's covered up. Nori's adapted, as he always does, now wearing thin shirts that only come to his elbow and open at the neck to allow the breeze in when out on the water and trousers that end at the knee, pulled tight with drawstrings at the calves for when he needed to be in the water. Almost none of them wear shoes when on deck now, the summer heat making them unbearable, but he has picked up a rather nice bangle for his ankle that he should probably send home. With his hair usually up now as well, there's now a clear difference between the skin that sees the sun and parts that don't, but Nori finds he likes it. He looks different now. 

But instead of saying any of that, he keeps working at his hair, finally freeing the peaks from the clips that keep them up, the braids falling. He undoes the braids first, than starts brushing it out, looking out the window instead of at Dwalin. He's staring at Nori. It's making him uncomfortable, because now that strange, foreign sensation of feelings not quite his are again edging around him. One feels too much like the way Nori feels when he admires Dwalin from afar to be safe. “Stop it,” he says, not quite a demand. “I hate being stared at.” 

“Since when?” Dwalin asks roughly. 

“Since you started doing it,” Nori snaps, his hair down in waves now. “You find out my name, and suddenly the years are supposed to mean something to you? You never noticed me before, Dwalin, and I never wanted you too -” That's a lie, he did. He wanted Dwalin to know it was him, to know he was his Nori, but he's wanted so many other things in his life that he had no hope of getting, he can lie about this just as easily. 

The things Nori has wanted could fill a dozen books, but Nori's gotten very good at letting those things go, same as his brothers and sisters. And he will let this go too. He will. 

“Don't think I didn't look at you!” Dwalin shouts back, surprising him. “Don't think I'm so far above the rest of the guards I wasn't looking at you the same way they do! Nori, I always saw you, I told you I did that night. I always saw you, and I always wanted you!” 

That's...hard to hear. Dwalin never leered openly, and somehow, Nori had just assumed Dwalin wasn't interested, and that had been right, because he didn't know who Nori really was, didn't know he could leer if he wanted. Dwalin had been better than the rest. He had been the best. “Must have been nice to find out the pretty one was yours, then,” he says, derisive by instinct.

He turns his back to Dwalin, looking out the window, trying to make out the street through the blurred circles set in iron. The latch turns easily enough, and Nori opens it up, letting in the fresh air and the outside sounds. Nori takes in a deep breath, the air all water and fish and bread. “Go home,” he says, but even he hears how weak it sounds. Dwalin finally touches him again, his hands on Nori's shoulders, and damn it, Nori cannot bring himself to shake him off. “Stop it.” But he doesn't move away when Dwalin buries his face in Nori's hair, nosing behind Nori's ear. “Dwalin, you cannot do this...” 

“You're clever,” Dwalin says, his wide palms sliding down Nori's arms until he's enfolding Nori in an embrace, and damn it, damn it all, it feels so right to be in Dwalin's arms. “You can cheat anyone at dice and cards. Damn fine hunter, got a handle on a good variety of weapons, more than most of my guards. And you're good. You take care of your family, keep them safe.” He makes it sound better than it is, like Nori is doing something noble, not something desperate. “I don't think any less of you for what you've had to do, Nori.”

“Would you say the same if this wasn't here?” Nori asks, daring to touch Dwalin's wrist, where his own name is scrawled out in thin, looping letters. “Or would you have me and my crew in chains by now?”

He doesn't answer right away, so Nori tries to pull away, but Dwalin won't let him, his arms tightening. “Nori, I'm not so young I think every criminal is no better than an Orc. And I know you know me well enough to know that. Was this your grand plan? You come up with every bad way this could go, and don't give me a choice, don't let me say what I want?” That's not far off, really. When Dwalin says it aloud though, it sounds almost selfish of Nori. 

It's not though. “Dwalin, I have a law mark. You cannot be involved with me.” There's no chance it will go over well with anyone. Nori is damaged goods, and there's no changing that. “I'm not letting you be ruined just for me. My own mother, she moved on from her mark before he died, they fought all the time, Lori said, and...” 

And now Dwalin is pressing kiss after kiss down Nori's neck, and Nori is trying to think, he is, he'll get the words out in just a moment. Just a moment. 

“We are not your mother and her mark,” he breathes into Nori's skin. 

It's a mistake he cannot make again, and damn it, he knows it, he does, but Dwalin is _his_. Mahal said so, and Nori can only handle so much. He's left home, and he's lonely, and his mark is right here, and when he turns in Dwalin's arms, it's him who seeks out Dwalin's mouth for a real kiss. “We need to stop,” he says, but he doesn't stop clutching at Dwalin's shoulders. “No,” because Dwalin has swept him up, and really, Nori always knew Dwalin was strong enough to pick him up. 

Actually feeling that strength, feeling his mark, knowing how much Dwalin wants him right now and wanting him back is overwhelming. 

He guesses he knew the moment Dwalin grabbed him, this was going to happen. The little bed is hardly big enough to hold them both, and it creaks threateningly. No doubt in the old, thin-walled, house that anyone in the hall or the rooms around knows exactly what's going on, but Nori will deal with that later. Right now, all he wants to think about is Dwalin. Just one more time, he promises. 

Just one more time, and then he'll sever ties. He can do it. He knows he can.

Everything is going to be all right, he tells himself.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun is setting over the water. It makes the room golden, the light following the strands of Nori's long, loose hair. Dwalin hopes Nori doesn't mind him running his fingers through it so much. He's always admired Nori's hair. Had thoughts about it not appropriate for the Captain of the Guard to have over someone under his arrest. Had thoughts about the poacher he thought was called Lori that were far from appropriate. 

But now Lori is Nori, and Dwalin is both relieved and even more guilty over his relief. Just because he's Dwalin's Nori, doesn't make it any less wrong to think about someone under his power that way. Dwalin is not that sort of guard. 

“You're being rather quiet,” Nori says. The bed in the inn is tiny. They fit well like this, with Nori sprawled across Dwalin's bulk and held there by one arm. Dwalin worried Nori would throw him out after the sex, but instead he's playing with the hair on Dwalin's chest, following the lines of Dwalin's numerous tattoos. “Already regretting it?”

“Thinking about tossing you over my shoulder and carrying you back to Ered Luin myself,” Dwalin answers, keeping his arm secure around Nori's waist, the other still combing through Nori's hair. “Your family misses you.” Because they do. “And your little brother found his mark.”

Nori sits up, his elbow carefully positioned between Dwalin's chest and arm. “What?” 

Dwalin chuckles, enjoying the way Nori looks in the light enough to cup his face, try to memorise the way it feels. “Fíli, son of Vimli, is better known as the heir of Thorin Oakenshield. As in,” and Nori is stunned enough Dwalin can pull him up for a kiss, “the lad I have trained since he was old enough to hold a sword. Though I usually call him 'the blond idiot' as opposed to his little brother, 'the other idiot'. But Fíli, son of Vimli, sounds better for a mark.” 

“The Crown Prince?” Nori sounds like he cannot breathe, and Dwalin laughs. “Ori's mark is the _Crown Prince_?” And then he bows his head against Dwalin's chest and _laughs_ , and Dwalin had no idea how long he had been waiting for Nori to laugh against him in bed until now. “Our mother always said we could not be so pretty for nothing.” But he looks up, frowning. “He is a good lad, isn't he? Good for Ori?”

“Far as I can tell, he thinks Ori hung the moon.” Fíli, steady lad he is for the most part, is now prone to staring off in the distance as though he's touched in the head. 

“They haven't...have they?” Nori asks, sounding like he half doesn't want to know. “I mean, Ori is only seventy-one, just turned even.” His face is considering, as he says aloud, “Then again, I wasn't nearly so good at his age.” Dwalin privately thinks something a bit different, considering the truly stupid look on Fíli's face as of late. But then Nori says, “You're laughing. Not...out loud...” He touches Dwalin's mouth. 

“You can feel me too?” He forgets about anyone but himself and Nori. Because he can feel Nori's concern and more than that...he can _feel_ Nori. He could feel his pleasure before, his desire and his turmoil, bleeding into Dwalin's own emotions. It had been unlike anything else he knew, no matter how many times it had been explained to him. “What do you feel?”

Nori slides back up him and kisses Dwalin, Nori's hand cupping Dwalin's cheek, the other gripping Dwalin's shoulder. Their whole bodies are pressed against one another, from foot to head, and Dwalin would kill to keep this. He can feel everything about Nori, can feel the sweet joy in Nori as they kiss. 

“I always saw you,” Dwalin says, and he thinks maybe he's said it before. Maybe that night. “I knew I shouldn't take notice of you, but I did.” Because it's better to admit to wrongdoing fully, than lie to someone like Nori. Some lovers would appreciate pretty lies. Nori's not one of those. “Guards shouldn't be looking at prisoners the way I'd look at you. I'm sorry for it.”

Nori kisses him on the mouth again. “Did you notice others?” Dwalin shakes his head, because no, he hadn't. Nori had been his one exception. “Am I really that pretty?” It's not vanity, oddly enough. It sounds like an honest question, from someone who knows they're attractive, just unaware of how attractive. “My older brother and sisters are far prettier than me, you know.” 

He's met all of Nori's siblings by now, and he knows what Nori means. They might be judged prettier than Nori by some. But Dwalin is not them. “I like red hair. And I've always favoured a Dwarf with a bite to them.” Because he's always been looking for Nori, he knows now. He's been searching for red hair and sharp smiles and easy, drawling wit. “But yes. Half the guards who've arrested you have said what a shame it was they had to put you in chains. That if they were less honourable, they'd have traded your freedom for your mouth, or even just your hand.” It had been said so wistfully by all, followed by chuckles and affirmations of indeed being an honourable guard and a devoted spouse. Nothing wrong with a fantasy, in Dwalin's mind, so he'd never done much but remind them to watch themselves around the pretty ones.

Nothing wrong until he knew it was his Nori they were dreaming about. 

Nori is playing with Dwalin's chest hair again, moving his fingers through it, up and down, studying it with more thought than Dwalin would think. “Every hair on you is black but the hair on your head,” Nori says, solving the vague mystery. “Even when you still had your crest, you had silver in your hair. But this is all black.” 

“You knew me when I wore a crest?” It has been many a year since Dwalin found the vanity tiresome, and shaved it off to have the ink done across his skull instead. He leaves enough on his head to be respectable for a Longbeard, but just that. If he was a Blacklock, he'd take off the whole of it. “Nori, how long have you known me?”

He's quiet against Dwalin, long minutes passing. 

“Do you remember the first time you arrested me?” And Dwalin does. He remembers the slim Dwarf, and the spark that had run down his spine when he pressed that slim body against the wall as he secured the bindings. He'd been embarrassed about the reaction, especially when his fellow guards teased him about it later. “I already knew you then, knew you well enough to be in love with you, and lie to you about my name. Lori was already dead, and she wouldn't have minded.” He shifts, and before Dwalin can stop him, he's climbed up off of the bed. 

The room is too small for him to go very far, but anywhere that's not pressed against Dwalin is too far. “Come back to me,” he calls, sitting up on his elbows. Nori looks over his bare shoulder, his long hair covering most of his form, the ends just brushing the middle of the swell of his arse. The light from the window is greying, but it only helps the image of him, and something in Dwalin's chest aches, because he could have had this for years. He could love Nori already, could have promises. 

Someone knocks on the door, breaking the moment.

Nori sighs and grabs the shirt that's draped over the chair for the little writing desk, Dwalin's shirt, as it turns out, yanking his hair out of the collar. When he opens the door, he tries to leave it at a crack, but the other person pushes it open further, whistling low. Dwalin cannot see them from this angle, but he can see Nori's annoyance. 

“Well, well,” they slur, leaning further in. “Did anyone ever tell you that you're _delicious_?” 

“What do you want?” Nori asks, shoving at them. 

“Captain says we're not going out tomorrow,” the other says, pushing further into the room. “Summer storm rolling in, and she don't like the look of it. Say, you scared of thunder, Nori? How about I keep you company, hold you tight?” 

Dwalin rises up now, and opens the door further so the other Dwarf sees him. It's the one from earlier who had tried to pull Nori into his lap, the one whose face Dwalin had briefly imagined breaking with his knuckle dusters. He stares up at Dwalin, staggering back a bit. Nori looks up at him too. “He's fine,” Dwalin tells them, shutting the door. 

Nori shakes his head, laughing as he slumps against the closed door. “He'll run downstairs and tell everyone. Whole ship will know by morning.” 

“Good,” Dwalin says, boxing him in against the door. “They won't come knocking then, will they?” Nori is slight enough it's no trouble for Dwalin to push him up the door, securing Nori's legs around his waist. Dwalin is still naked, and there's nothing under the shirt to bar the way to Nori's cock. “I don't care about any law marks, and anyone who does is neither kin nor friend to me. I care about _you_ , and I want _you_ , not whoever it is you've dreamed up for me.” 

“I don't want you with anyone else,” Nori finally admits, exactly what Dwalin wants to hear, and it's all the better that he's saying it with his legs around Dwalin's waist and his hands exploring. “I want you with me, I -” he gasps, and they kiss roughly. Nori kisses like it's a fight, his fingers digging into Dwalin's shoulders almost painfully, but it's good, it's him wanting Dwalin, and that's perfect. “Again.”

One word, one perfect word, and Dwalin braces his feet so he can guide his cock back inside Nori. He's still slick from before, Dwalin having been careful the first time. Like this, if anyone didn't hear them the first time, they certainly will now. That suits Dwalin fine. He wants everyone to know Nori is claimed. “You're mine,” he growls, hitching one of Nori's falling legs back up around his waist. “Just mine, all mine, and I'll kill that bastard if he thinks of laying his hands on you again -” Nori cries out, and all but smashes their mouths back together, biting Dwalin's lip in the process. It spurs Dwalin on, makes him rougher. 

Nori's got his nails in Dwalin's back, his breathing laboured. He slides their mouths together in almost-kisses, his voice rising the longer they carry on. When Dwalin boosts Nori up higher, crowding him even closer against the door, Nori shoves Dwalin's face against his neck in a silent order that Dwalin obeys, biting down and sucking marks into the skin. “Yes,” he hisses, his legs tightening around Dwalin. “You're so damn perfect in me, Dwalin, don't stop, don't,” his voice breaks as Dwalin thrusts into him and _holds_ , for just a second. 

It takes all his restraint, but the way Nori shudders and whines is worth it. 

He's like a dream, his hair a wreck of waves around his face and Dwalin's shirt hanging off his shoulder, pupils blown wide as he looks at Dwalin. He kisses Dwalin, opening his mouth to him, and still, Dwalin doesn't move. Not until Nori says, “I love you,” like a promise between them. Dwalin moves hard, uncompromising, as Nori says it again, louder, encouraging Dwalin to kiss him everywhere he can reach. It's not much longer when Nori tenses in his arms, and he spills between them. Dwalin is almost there himself, all he needs is a few more thrusts, and Nori whispering, “I can feel you, you're so close, you are, I love you, Dwalin, I do, Dwalin,” and Dwalin finishes in Nori, Nori kissing him through it. 

Lucky the room is so small, because it takes the last of his strength to move them back to the bed, sitting down with Nori in his lap. He pulls out, Nori whimpering at it. He's overly-sensitive now, the feeling winding its way through Dwalin's own haze. “That was good,” he mutters, Nori straddling his waist still. Nori sits up straight, wincing, and they arrange themselves so they're both on their sides, Dwalin's arm around Nori's waist. 

Rain is pattering against the window now, the sun having set at last. “Could tell the lady to send up supper,” Dwalin suggests, hungry now. His hand finds its own way under the shirt Nori is still wearing, working into the muscle of it. Once it's there, it keeps exploring, up to Nori's stomach. His cock needs time before it'll stir again, but touching is fine. “Some ale? Or wine?” 

“Don't want to move,” Nori says, arching up into Dwalin's touch. 

“What about a bath?” The inn must have a bath somewhere. 

Nori hums happily. “I haven't had a proper bath in an age,” he says. 

The bath is in a room off from the kitchen. The landlady charges him two coins for the use, but when Dwalin throws in another four, she not only fills it, she lays out supper for them too in the little room. Nori makes a sound that's almost obscene as he sinks into the hot water after he washes up, his hair braided now. Dwalin uses the washbasin next, scrubbing the back of his neck while he tears off a piece of the dark bread she's served. 

“Tub is made for Men,” Nori says. “Could join me.” 

“Too tempting,” Dwalin chuckles, tearing off more bread. “Damn, but you're beautiful.” The light's not good, but there's colour in Nori's face. Could just be the heat of the bath though. 

When they're done, they make themselves fit in the bed again, even if it is just barely. Outside, the summer storm is in full temper, the lightning briefly lighting the room before the roll of thunder. Even with that though, the sounds from below carry up. There's music playing, and not well. “Fool needs to put that fiddle down before I put it out of its misery and break it over their head.” 

Nori chuckles. “Very few play as well as you do, Dwalin.” 

“When have you heard me play?” 

Nori shrugs. 

Though he wants to ask more, he thinks better of it. Nori does not respond well to being caged in. Dwalin can already feel the comfortable mix of Nori's emotions taking on a sharper feel. “I could play for you, if you like.” He would love to play for Nori, to gift Nori a part of himself. “You play the pipe, don't you?” He remembers Nori playing once or twice in the cells when those in holding were a cheerful lot. 

“I can play without embarrassing myself. Our mother now, she was a proper musician. But I never could be bothered to apply myself much, not when I was already rather good without.” He's relaxing, breath by breath. “Suppose if one of my brothers or sisters had been very dedicated, I'd of followed their example, and might have become a proper musician. But I was always running around after Sori and Mori. Lori, when she was alive, and Dori, and later Adjoa, they were too old to have much time for playing with me. Samin settled Mori down, and Sori settled herself, eventually. By then, I had Ori to watch, and my own mates.” 

Dwalin remembers one time, decades ago, when he'd once spied Nori in the streets. He wasn't causing trouble, but instead following after a dark-skinned lass Dwalin later knew to be Nori's eldest sister. She had a basket on her arm she was filling with vegetables, while Nori stood beside her, hair in three long red braids, with a little thing more mittens and scarf and hat than a child holding his hand. That had been Ori. Dwalin had watched, in the vaguely interested way a guard always watches a known thief. Eventually, Nori had scooped up the child to sit on his hip, and Dwalin had finally heard snatches of the conversation. 

He kisses Nori's shoulder. “I saw you in the market once, with Adjoa and Ori. You were telling Ori a story. He was all knitted hat and scarf. Couldn't even see what colour he was under it all.” With Nori's siblings, one never knew. 

Nori's emotions shift, until Dwalin feels something that might be sadness. “There was a bit more space between Sori and me than the rest, than a lot between us and Ori. So I was usually tasked to mind him when Mama was busy, or just needed a rest. Could keep him quiet with a story as long as the story was good. He was always Adjoa's baby when Amad wasn't there, but he liked my stories best.” He is sad, so Dwalin kisses his shoulder again. 

“Fíli is a good lad,” he promises, thinking he's got the way of it now. “A bit too headstrong for his own good, but then, he's Thorin's sister-son, and his mother is no one to laugh at either.”

“What's her name, again?” 

Dwalin grins, thinking of the look on Dís face if she knew the people in the Tin Borough hardly knew she existed, much less her name. Her face would put a garnet to shame she'd be so furious, and the lot of them would be hiding in Fíli's shop for a week straight. Dís tended to throw things when she was in a temper, and bless him, Vimli was a good-natured man, but a little _too_ good-natured to be a proper foil for Dís' temper. “Dís,” Dwalin says, chuckling. “The lady's name is Dís, and his father's name is Vimli, as you know.” 

“The Crown Prince,” Nori says again, completely disbelieving. “Our little Ori, with the _Crown Prince_?” He sits up suddenly, startling Dwalin. “Do Dori and Adjoa know?”

“Fíli said they agreed it was best to ease them in...” Dwalin says, confused as to why Nori feels so sinfully gleeful now. 

“So I know something they don't?” he asks, as though he's just a naughty lad of fifty. He laughs, really laughs, straddling Dwalin again and kissing him soundly. “Dori will die. Oh, does Mori know?” Dwalin shakes his head, amused by Nori being so damned petty, and so very light and normal. “Oh, I have to write Ori, this needs teasing, damn, I wish I could go home and see him, needle him right in front of everyone...” He kisses Dwalin yet again, the kiss loud and ridiculous, Nori still laughing. 

Dwalin cradles Nori's face, and draws him down for yet more kisses. “Balin and I were never like you and your lot.” The distance of years between Balin and him was likely around the same as between Dori and Nori, and they had pursued different courses of study; Balin, his law books and number, and Dwalin, the sword and music. “After I reached my height, I did like to hold things over his head on occasion.” Dwalin had not even reached his maturity when he began to tower over most, including Balin. “Your family, though...” 

“They are a special lot,” Nori says, rolling his eyes. 

“The one with the long braids, the dark-skinned one, not the eldest...” 

“Mori,” Nori provides. 

“ _Mori_.” Dwalin, and everyone else in the Tower, could all likely identify Mori from her unusually light green eyes to the last braid on her head. “Do you remember when that one guard hit you in the face?” He'd been furious himself at the bruise on Nori's face. Dwalin did not train guards to be brutes. “Mori shouted at every guard who crossed her path until she found him, and knocked him right off his feet, then gave him a kick for good measure.” Dwalin hadn't felt very sorry for him after he heard the story and gotten a look at Nori, but the lesson had been learned well enough without further punishment by his reckoning. 

“In Mori's mind, the only person allowed to hit me is her,” Nori says, grinning. “Once, when I was little, maybe twenty, these older kids down the way, me and my mates and them had a bit of a scuffle. Kicked me black and blue. Mori and Sori saw it, and managed to get the braids off two of them, and Sori says Mori broke one's nose too. No one touches Mori's siblings, and she usually brings Sori along.”

It's reassuring to hear. Dwalin's always known how tightly-knitted the Ri family is, but he likes knowing Nori's siblings are as loyal to him as he is to them. He likes knowing his Nori is well-loved. “I thought she was going to throw me out of your house, that day, and I do mean throw me out.”

Nori raises his eyebrows. “She was,” he says, as though Dwalin is a fool. “She was only waiting for Dori or Adjoa to tell her she could.” Now it's Dwalin raising his eyebrows. He was only joking, but Nori isn't. “We're all a bit wild, but Dori and Adjoa make the rules.” 

“A bit?” Dwalin asks. 

“A bit,” Nori says again, trailing his fingers down Dwalin's chest. 

They're not talking any more, instead, kissing with purpose, Dwalin dragging his hands up Nori's warm thighs, working his thumbs into Nori's sharp hips. It's so easy for them to move together, almost too easy. Their bond is strengthening. He'll always be able to feel Nori now. “Come home with me,” he pleads. 

“Don't ask me that,” Nori says, shaking his head. “I go back, and I won't be able to stay away from you, and you won't be able to stay away from me, and it'll never work, and I _cannot_ be your affair, Dwalin, I can't...” They kiss again, softer, sadder. “We can't stop being who we are, and who we are doesn't work -”

Dwalin turns his head when Nori tries to kiss him this time, forcing them up and untangling them. His trousers are folded across the chair, his shirt on the floor. “Dwalin?” Nori asks. “Dwalin, please...”

He finds his socks and boots, sitting in the chair to put them on. “Come home with me, Nori.” 

“And if I say no again?” Nori's pulling the quilt up and around himself, hiding his body. “I didn't ask you to come, Dwalin. I didn't even want you to. You decided to track me down -”

Dwalin slams his palm down on the desk. “Because you said you loved me! What else was I supposed to do?” Because really, what was his choice? Walk away, pretend he didn't know his mark wanted him, that he had a chance to be with his one. “Damn it, Nori, I cannot do this for the rest of our lives, where you give me whatever you think is enough, and you don't ask me what I want!” 

“What do you want from me?” Nori demands, quiet. 

He sits back on the bed and grabs Nori, confining him against Dwalin's bulk, pulling Nori's legs over his lap. His hopes rise when Nori doesn't fight him at all, when his hands slide up Dwalin's still-bare chest, up to cradle Dwalin's face. Dwalin touches heir temples together, desperate. “...I cannot even say.” He wants Nori off the river, home and safe with his family. He wants Nori's love, he thinks. Wants Nori to want his too. “Can't you come home, at the very least?”

“I'm not ready.” 

It's better than no.


	5. Chapter 5

There's few things that feel better than having his hair brushed. Nori's hair has always been thick, and he's never cut it, nothing beyond a careful trim for neatness. It would have been wasteful, really. His hair is his best feature. And he loves it. 

He loves Dwalin brushing it, right now, with a proper brush even. He'd bought the set somewhere in the seaside port, surprising Nori when he came back ashore from working on the ship. He'd honestly expected Dwalin to have already left during the day, but no, he'd still been there in the little inn, only with a present for Nori, wrapped in a leather case. A hairbrush, with thick, soft bristles, and a design carved into the wooden back, birds, painted blue and black and white against the light wood. Two combs to match, one wide-toothed, one fine. Ribbons even, as though Nori has anywhere to wear something pretty here in this town. 

And a mirror. Nori's never owned a mirror of his own. There were a few in the house, and Sori had one that she never minded Nori borrowing when he needed, but Nori had never been able to justify spending whatever extra money he managed to come into on one of his own. Not when there were a thousand and one more important things to buy. 

Dwalin is too good, really. Far too good. Nori knows that, he really does, but he can pretend for right now that he's just as good. 

The brush scratches behind his ear, and combined with Dwalin's firm hand, it feels good enough Nori shudders. 

“Alright?” Dwalin asks, kissing the same spot.

“Perfect,” Nori replies, pressing into the large hand running down his arm. “You're perfect.” He really is. Everything about this is almost exactly perfect. 

Almost. 

He misses his family again suddenly, an ache in his chest that never seems to fade. He wants to be home, in his own room, in his own bed. Could be awkward though. Dwalin would hardly fit in Nori's bed with Nori. It's not even a proper bed. “Do you miss your brother, when you're away like this?”

Dwalin's hand slows. “It's only been Balin and me since Azanulbizar. And Balin works with the law. He's always been busy. I chose a different path.” He huffs, and Nori hears him set the brush aside. “It's not that I don't miss him, just that I'm used to being without him.” He strokes Nori's hair with his hand. “You've never been far from your family, have you?” 

“It's not so bad,” Nori says, not sure if he's lying or not. “But I've never been gone for important things. I don't like it.” 

“What's so important?” He doesn't resume brushing Nori's hair, instead pulling Nori back against his bare chest. He smells good, like the soap Nori had brought from home. Dori makes it, using the lavender and mint Ori was always bringing home in great big bundles to dry in the ceiling. Nori's been using it as little as possible, trying to save it, but he doesn't mind sharing it with Dwalin. It makes Dwalin smell like home. 

“Ori falling in love,” Nori confides, enjoying the warmth and strength of Dwalin's body. “Everything else that must be going on.”

“Worried you'll come home to a niece or nephew?” Dwalin teases. 

Nori shakes his head. “Not possible.” Dori and Adjoa had thought to have children once, a lifetime ago, Nori knows, but had never really seemed to actually want any of their own. Too many children in the house already, really, and not enough money to go around already. Mori and Samin had never even seemed to consider the idea. “Suppose Sori might find herself a suitor. Doubt it. She's never said anything to me about wanting one.” She had tended to fuss over Ori a lot when he was small, but maybe that had just been fascination. 

He worries for a moment Dwalin's going to push the conversation into an altogether more unpleasant direction, but he doesn't. The bed creaks under them as Dwalin shifts back to rest against the wall a bit more fully, Nori adjusting himself accordingly. “I have to leave tomorrow morning. I cannot delay anymore, or Thorin will send for me.”

“The great and wonderful Thorin Oakenshield needs you to hold his hand?” Nori teases. “Are you really that essential?” He twists in Dwalin's hold, straddling his thighs and sliding his hands up Dwalin's chest, appreciating him while he can. 

“Do you trust anyone else to run the guard?” Dwalin asks. 

“Fair point.” Because Dwalin is the best, and Nori might not be getting arrested in Ered Luin right now, but he has friends, and he likes the idea of them getting a fair shake instead of a beating. Some people seem to join the guard just for an excuse at violence, Nori thinks. He's met them. “Will you...” he pauses, fumbling over the request, not quite sure it's allowed. 

Dwalin bites at Nori's collarbone, beside a bruise he's already left. “Will I what?”

“My family,” Nori tries, wrapping his arms around Dwalin to keep him in place. “Will you make sure they're alright?” He'd done what he could when he left, had asked the friends he trusted to make there was no trouble, and for the most part, he knew his family could handle themselves just fine. But he hates that something might happen, that he could help and be here, far away and useless. 

He wants to go home, but at the same time, he knows he can't. Not just yet. It's one thing to do this with Dwalin here, in this place, but at home, everything they are in this world is going to come right back. It'll matter. And it will destroy this. He can end it as soon as he's home, but Nori's selfish at the worst times, and he wants to keep this just a little longer.

“I don't think your family will want me around,” he tells Nori, nosing at Nori's jaw. “Or your friends.” 

He's not wrong. Most of Nori's friends wouldn't take kindly to Nori sending Dwalin to sniff around. He's not one of the friendly guards that looks the other way for the right price. Dwalin believes in the law. 

“Do you know Bifur, son of Braur?” Nori asks. 

Dwalin pulls back, looks at Nori. “Aye. I've had the unfortunate pleasure.” His eyes narrow, just a little. “How do you know him?” 

“He was Lori's friend,” Nori explains, feeling prickly about Dwalin's tone. “He helped take care of us after Lori died. Got Sori her job at the forge, and he took me on hunts.” He doesn't go with Bifur usually, not unless Bifur wants him. Bifur is uninterested in little game, and sometimes it's not animals he's hunting. Bounties pay more than poaching, after all. “He's fond of me. If you talk to him, he'll handle things.”

Dwalin still looks a bit unsettled, but he nods. Nori understands. Sometimes the bounties Bifur goes after don't particularly want to come back. Heads and hands are easier to carry than a prisoner. 

“Will you write to me?” Dwalin asks, stroking Nori's hair back behind his ears. “Just so I know you're safe?” 

“Maybe,” Nori hedges, not sure if he will or should. It's a bad idea, such a bad idea.

“I have to leave Ered Luin for a little while, come next month, for a job guarding a merchant caravan. We have to go into Men's towns. Could end up taking all of two months, maybe three if the weather turns on us, or we have bad luck.” His rough fingers brush Nori's upper arms, and when Nori closes his eyes, he can _feel_ Dwalin, and he's frightened. What if Dwalin gets hurt? Nori won't be able to pretend he's fine, because he knows he'll be able to feel it. 

When Samin lost her leg, Nori had been with Mori. She had been working on some mending; a shirt, a skirt, something red. Nori had been sharpening the kitchen knives with a whetstone, sitting on the hearth. His sister had made an odd noise, then another, and when he looked, up, she was rubbing her leg, frowning. She'd said it was nothing, but the pain had gotten worse and hadn't ebbed for hours. 

That evening, word finally reached their house about what had happened to Samin in the mines.

Nori will know now. 

He climbs off of Dwalin's lap and finds his little work knife from amongst his gear, then gets back in the bed, his back against the wall beside Dwalin, tucking his legs under him. Dwalin watches him quietly, as Nori selects a thick lock of hair, and ties it off a bit past his shoulder with one of the long ribbons Dwalin had bought. If Dori knew what he was doing, he'd make that awful pinched face he always does when it comes to matters of luck and spells, but Dori's not here to judge, so Nori works a careful little promise braid of luck and affection into his hair, along with the tails of the ribbon. The knots at the end ask for security, and Nori grabs one of his smaller beads off the bedside table to work in as well, just for extra, as he secures the whole thing. 

“You don't have to,” Dwalin says, as he sees Nori raise the knife to the hair above the charm. “I wouldn't ask.”

“I wouldn't offer if I didn't mean it,” Nori replies, and starts slicing through his hair. It's the same knife he uses for cutting through nets, and it goes through his hair with almost no trouble. 

He's never made a charm for anyone before. He holds it in his hand, admiring his own work and indulging in just a little pride. Nori's hair is thick and a good colour, and anyone who sees this on Dwalin will know Dwalin has had prettier than them. 

He presses it to his mouth before enfolding it in Dwalin's hand, then kisses Dwalin's knuckles. “So you'll be safe,” he says, instead of anything selfish he's been thinking. He can't give Dwalin a promise; so he can't ask for one either. “Red hair is especially lucky.” 

“Anything from you is lucky,” Dwalin says, placing the charm aside in favour of gathering Nori back up and bearing them both down onto the bed. 

They're tangled up, Nori's loose hair not helping at all, and quite a bit of it is stuck under him and pulling, but he still laughs. “Let me fix my hair!” He shoves at Dwalin's chest, and Dwalin lets him up so Nori can gather all of it at the nape of his neck and pull it over his shoulder. It's not quite as comfortable as lying on his stomach or him on top, but he likes having the bulk of Dwalin braced over him, and being able to see Dwalin's face. 

Dwalin has a good face. Strong nose and cheekbones, soft mouth, and a thick beard. His tattoos need to be redone soon, the blue a bit faded, the runes a little harder to read. Nori likes them. They suit Dwalin at this age. He runs a hand over them, feels the prickle of hair. He'll probably take a straight blade to his scalp when he gets back to Ered Luin, clean it up. He likes the colour of Dwalin's eyes too, he decides, though he never thought he'd get this close to him. 

“My family only gives those charms when we mean them, you know,” Nori says, not sure he should. “I do love you, Dwalin.”

“You don't know me,” Dwalin refutes, and Nori frowns. Above him, Dwalin sighs, and kisses Nori's temple. “Nori, you _don't_. I told you, I've been less than perfect more than enough times. And I want you.” 

“That's not the way the world works, and you know it.” Why he won't just accept it, Nori cannot understand. 

“It could.” But he sighs, kisses Nori again, and adds, “But no, it might not. Not yet.” 

It's the way he says it, with a hopeful lilt up, that has Nori curious. “What's that mean?” 

Dwalin sits up again, getting out of the bed so he can grab his pipe, fill it, and light it. He's not dressed, so Nori has a decent view of his body from his position on the bed, and he decides he likes it well enough to stay where he is for the time being. Dwalin seems content to look at him too, an Nori adjusts himself for Dwalin's benefit, stretching and letting his hips rise off the bed a little. 

The room smells like pipe smoke after a few minutes, and finally Dwalin offers it to Nori. When he takes it, Dwalin picks up the charm off the table, and sits at the little desk. He sits one of his axes between his legs and starts to knot the loose ends of the ribbons around the joint. It looks nice, and it makes Nori's stomach swoop a little to see it there.

When he's done, Dwalin puts it back with its twin, and takes his pipe back from Nori. He looks out towards the window, then the door, as though he's checking for listeners, then says, “Have you ever dreamed of seeing Erebor, Nori?” 

Nori sits up on his elbows. “What do you mean?” Sori had been the last of them born in Erebor, and Nori had been born on the road. Ori is the only one of them who was born in Ered Luin. 

“If the chance came,” Dwalin says, low like a secret, “would you go to Erebor?” 

“There's a _dragon_ ,” Nori says, sitting up completely. “What are you talking about? Erebor has been lost -”

“No one has seen Smaug in a few decades,” Dwalin insists. “Thorin's been receiving reports from Dáin. Things are changing around the mountain. Things are growing again. His scouts have spotted animals.” 

“Good for Dáin,” Nori says, but he doesn't mean it. In his head, all he can see is his mother and his older siblings talking about Erebor, the way they so obviously longed for it. Especially his mother. She'd so wanted to return home. His siblings had been less obvious, but every now and then they would start talking about it, and they couldn't hide how much they missed it too. 

Nori wonders if they feel what he's feeling now from Dwalin. 

But Nori's not stupid, and he can't miss something he's never known. “If you try to go back there, you'll die. Everyone who goes into that mountain is going to die.” 

“Everyone dies some day,” Dwalin replies. “I'd rather die taking back my home than watching our people die out in Ered Luin. The mines there cannot last forever. You know that. I know you do. And there's not enough good stone to keep supporting us. We need Erebor back.” 

He doesn't know what to think of any of it. “It's too dangerous,” he says, because it is. It is. But...Dwalin's right. Ered Luin cannot support them forever, and it's not much of a stronghold. If they're attacked, it will crumble. 

Nori purses his lips, then exhales through his teeth. “What exactly is the plan, then?”

“Not for awhile,” Dwalin says, edging the chair closer. “But Thorin is making plans. He's not sure when, not even sure how we'd get in, but he wants to try. He's hoping to find signs of his father first, but if he cannot...” Again, Dwalin looks around, and Nori wonders if that trill of hope in his chest is his own or Dwalin's. “If he cannot, he wants to start putting together a small expedition party, hopefully backed by some of Dáin's people. Someone like you Nori, with your skills, he'd want you.” 

That's not a lover's pride speaking. Nori would be useful for something like that. “If I agreed, if the king asked...could I be pardoned? A full pardon?” He swallows, and asks, “And my mother's title?”

They don't talk about it in Nori's home. No one talks about it. But his mother should have been a noblewoman, in name at least, and even if it cannot be passed down, if he agrees to such a suicidal quest, he'll see his mother's name put in the stones in Erebor with the title she deserved. 

Dwalin smiles, obviously relieved. “I'll see what I can do.” 

He leaves early in the morning, already in most of his gear by the time Nori wakes up. Nori gets dressed while Dwalin tightens the laces of his boots and secures the rest of his weapons in place. He has to go, Nori knows he does, and he's leaving with a few little bundles of money for Nori's family, and a few more letters. 

“Be safe,” Nori says. 

“Write to me,” Dwalin replies, and kisses him good-bye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guess what?
> 
> I take [commissions](http://themarchrabbit.tumblr.com/commissions) now, for rock-bottom prices! Why? Because I still haven't found a new job yet, and this is all I've got.


End file.
